What to do if someone in your school is self-harming

If you find out that someone in your school or college is self-harming the first thing to do is to check if there is a procedure in place for dealing with the situation. If there is not, here are some suggestions on how to help and support the student.

Remember that this may be the first time that a student has spoken to someone about their self-harming.

• Your reaction to the student is very important. It is possible that you will find it very difficult to deal with the reality of someone who is self-harming. It can be very difficult to understand why someone would want to harm his or her own body. So, it is important that you take a non-judgmental attitude towards the young person. They must not feel rejected as a result of what they may have done and for turning to an adult to get help. Showing shock or possibly disgust can have a negative effect.
• Acknowledge their distress and show concern.
• Let them know that they are not alone. Self-harm is quite common.
• Ask them what help they would like.
• Let them talk, give them time and really listen.
• Ultimatums never work.
• Telling someone to stop does not work.
• Make sure that you are honest and realistic about what you can and cannot do. For example, if you are their teacher you may not be able to help with their self-harming and may need to refer them to appropriate professionals, although, you may be able to help with other concerns such as exam stress.
• Remember that you can only fulfil your professional role. In other words, a teacher can help with teaching and counselling should be left to a counsellor.
• Be sure that they understand the limits of confidentiality and that you may have to pass on certain types of information. See the information below on Safeguarding Children.
• If you feel you have to tell someone else, discuss this with the student first.
• If you have a policy which requires you to tell someone, let the student know that you must do so.
• If you are not aware of services that are available, talk to a colleague or a mental health professional in your area who can give you information on what you can do for the student. It is important to be aware of confidentiality issues at this stage.
• Try to ensure that any support that is set up does not end at the school gates in the evening or during school holidays.
• If your school / college does not have information available that you can give out to the student, use this site and others to access self-help materials.
• Be aware of your own needs for support. This is a difficult area to deal with and you may need someone to talk to so that you can do what is best to help and support the student.
• Supporting someone who is self-harming is not always about prevention. It may be more about helping them to manage it safely.

> Safeguarding Children
According to S.175 Education Act 2002, schools have a legal duty to safeguard and promote the welfare of children.

“I have self harmed before by burning my wrists and arms. I did it because pressure at school became too much and I was bullied and needed to gain control.”